Sacrifice is giving up what you love for something you love more

One of the best quotes I've ever heard came from the TV Show White Collar, "Sacrifice is Giving Up Something You Want for Something You Want More".

It's a concept that we live, we just don't recognize that we are doing it. We literally make choices that prove where our loyalty and commitments are.

One of the best extreme examples of this is the movie Stranger Than Fiction 2006. The main character discovers that he is living the story that an author is writing and she is known for killing off her main characters. When he discovers why he is going to die, he agrees that it must happen. He chooses the better good, but he savors his moments. I wont spoil the ending. It is the only Will Ferrell movie I recommend, but all the feels.

Dr Aaron Ben-Zeév discussed in Psychology Today back in 2010 the dynamics of compromise and sacrifice in relationships and the impact they have one the giver. The one that compromises does it with regret, conflict and judgment but the one that sacrifices does it willingly and freely with no guilt attached toward the receiver of the sacrifice.

It is also a bonding agent in our lives. When you give of yourself to something, you love it more and when you love it more you give of your self more.

The Bible states it like this, "Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be." Matthew 6:21 (NLT)

Jesus did that for us when he went to the cross.

"For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:16-17 (NLT)

I am seeing this play out in the life of a gentleman I am aware of. He spent a full decade in the Middle East fighting and training military as they rotated in to the area to build relationships, to identify bad actors and fight them. Normally a military tour is 12 months, he spent 10 straight years. He literally has blood, sweat, and tears in full measure for the love and sacrifice for our country. I thought he was cool, when I listened to him the first time, but a moment came when he was describing our values and principles as a nation and he choked up. He fought back tears in front of over 300 people describing his concerns for our country and why he was becoming political.  I've now seen him do it three times. He did not intent for those moments to buy him my respect, but they did. But I recognized a man that was married to his love of our country...I suspect that is a reason why he is not married. No woman is ever going to cost him as much emotionally as this nation has. It may take a lot of counseling for him to bond to a wife like he has to his love for our country. I think it is possible but with a lot of work.

Here is another story (as I remember it): One that I heard on Humans of New York (HONY). An Indian man was in an accident soon after he was married. It was quiet devastating but his wife faithfully took care of him until he was fully recovered, several years later. He was so moved by her commitment that he promised her that her would serve her and protect her and love her the way she had him. They were married 20 or 30 years and she came down with Alzheimer's. It quickly ravaged her brain and she died a few years later but he served her, protected her and loved her. When she died the doctor came to him and said that he had never seen such quality care of his patients. He cried in the interview with HONY because...he missed her. She was still his love. 

Where do you put your energy? You can say you love something but it you love it do you sacrifice for it? Do you go out of your way to serve what you say you love? What are you actually putting your time to? What are you actually putting the hum of your thoughts to? What do you give up and what do you want more?

So what do you sacrifice for? What do you really love?