What is deconstruction?

Deconstruction is when a value, idea, or strongly held belief, that you grew up with whether that is faith based, political, or cultural, gets shaken by an event in your life and you begin to question it. Children go through a lot of deconstruction. An example of this is when as a child grows most everyone they love is alive and then when a family member passes away, they have to deconstruct what life is. Adults forget that we can and do deconstruct also. A perfect, if not a bit cliche, example is a “Mid-life Crisis”.

Usually a life event or series of life events bring about a questioning. Frequently those doing the questioning are maltreated by the “church” community for wrestling with all the pieces of their lives.

But…

Deconstruction is Reconstruction.

There are a lot of strong opinions on this from more educated people than me. Essentially though, it is a person who, for a variety of reason, has left the church and re-evaluated their faith positions, resulting in a range of results from returning to their original faith position, changing denominations, not returning to church but still having some assemblance of faith, changing faiths altogether, to abandoning faith completely.

God has used deconstruction for His glory since the beginning of our faith; for example, Abraham deconstructed from the Chaldean faith culture he was raised in, eventually resulting in the Judaism. Jesus, the Apostles, and Paul deconstructed from the legalism of their faith, eventually resulting in Christianity. During the Reformation, deconstruction split the Roman Catholic Church and created Protestants. These are just a few.

Coming out of WWI and WWII there was not an official term for War Trauma, they called it shell shock. Now we know about trauma better, (event trauma, complex long term exposure trauma) and therapy is substantially more available and effective than it used to be.

Likewise, now we have a term for those with religious trauma. Deconstructed.

For over 50 years we have had people identify as spiritual but not religious. Frequently called by the attenders of religious communities as "rebellious", “prodigals”, “wayward children of the devout”, and now “deconstructed” like it is a dirty rag. But we have embraced this title. Those that have never deconstructed say it with bitterness, a seething sneer, dripping with poisonous animosity about us without regard to what brought us here. Those of us that say it about ourselves find communitas with others. We are grateful for our awakening and the bittersweet suffering the brings soul tranquility. I won’t say peace, just less chaos. The nerve numbness is its own rest.

What creates religious trauma for the deconstructed person?

It starts and ends like a circle with desperation. Desperation to protect a reputation and/or power. Desperation for economic stability, for influence. Coincidentally none of these things look like humility or Jesus. Jesus was silent before his accusers, he let the power of truth speak for himself. It cost him everything and the result was redemption. When we grip sand, we end up holding only a few grains, when we hold with open hands we retain so much more, not all but vastly more than if we gripped.

So here is the list, in no particular order:

• Abuse of power

• Manipulation

• Rape

• Coercion or forced consent

• Cult like control

• Don’t think

• Blame

• No mistakes allow

• No grace for mistakes

• Reputation matters more than restoration or good character

• Maintain the image at all costs

• Do not sully the church’s reputation, not actually addressing real issues, just hiding them.

• Honesty in name only

• No evaluation or accountability from external sources

• No ability to say no

• Not allowed to feel

• No negativity

• Do not question

• Do not step outside your assigned role

• Give until you have nothing left (Time, Talent, Treasure)

The more of these elements the more trauma and the more “rebellious” the exiting party will be. They will be blamed, and have their reputation destroyed within that community. The anger of the person leaving will be consistent with the level of trauma they have experienced.