Addicted to Survival and Stability
Hording is an issue that many Americans face today. But it is not just a first world problem. It has happened since the dawn of time, but was noticed after World War 2, when Europeans were out of the war and there was finally a little food. They would take more then necessary just to make sure there was enough later… in case.
After World War 2, Audrey Hepburn always traveled with noodles, just in case, she was hungry and couldn’t get any food.
It is an act of survival, a fear of not enough. But in the United States were there is, generally speaking for most individuals, more then plenty, we still have this drive of survival and stability., instead of thriving and a sense of peace in enough.
11-ish years ago I took a job across the country and moved my mother and myself to Dallas, TX. It was to be my self-reliance job and that season in Dallas was one of the most excruciating lessons God has ever taught me… I returned to my home town humbled but the lesson didn’t end until the following year. I learned I had an addiction and an idol. Survival and Stability.
Survival and stability for my family and myself was more important than trusting Jesus. During those years I didn’t tithe, I was making the most I ever have and totally trapped by bills , and decisions made “that seem right to a man but in the end lead to death”… Many of those decisions were reasonable, logical, and listened to some authoritative people, but poorly timed and none of them trusted God.
Eventually I had to file for bankruptcy and when my bankruptcy was final, I was numb, and completely aware that I had done everything in my power for stability but that stability and peace and prosperity and protection and wisdom do not and cannot come from me. It comes exclusively from our Lord God, Christ Jesus.
It was in this time that God began to talk to me about Matthew 6.
"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 19-21
There is another part of Matthew 6 that is not quite as well known,
25 “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
About the same time I was wrestling with this, a local pastor mentioned something in one of his sermons. He said, “In Israel, the shepherds move their sheep from mountain top to mountain top, because the grass grows on the tops where the moisture gathers at night. And there is Just Enough… [to feed the sheep, and tomorrow there is just enough on a different mountain top]”.
I was horrified and relieved at the same moment, horrified that I had not trusted, relieved that God had the provision of just enough. I no longer needed to live in a state of terror, anxiety, or fear for stability. I could walk away from survival mode and choose to thrive in Christ. That for the next moment, there would be enough…
That is not a walk in the park, just for the record. I have had fights with people driven by fear and trying to put the fear back in me. I have to ferociously protect this new understanding that God is asking me to live by. Oh and it is hard. I see things and I get angsty and God drives me back to, “Am I Big Enough? And will you surrender the outcome to me?” My natural inclination is still stability, am I willing to blindly listen to the voice of the one who knows better then I?
I will tell you in the years since I chose to let God be God and to stop idolizing stability, I have had more peace, not perfect peace, but more peace.
And here I am years later looking at the same situation that put me in Dallas and God is asking me, am I willing to let Him drive?
So let me ask you, as a sibling facing the same thing, is the drive for survival, satisfaction or stability getting you where you wanted to go? Time to walk in the peace of Christ and His provision, that is enough.
May the Lord bless you and protect you. May He smile on you and be gracious to you. May He show you His favor and give you peace.
